The Overwhelming Grace that Nothing Can Compare

Last Saturday, I celebrated my 36th birthday. And looking back, I cannot believe how gracious the Lord has been to me.

Because last year, I said to my husband, "I don't want to go on for another year."

There were moments when I wanted it to end. 

There was a moment when my husband caught me holding a knife in the darkness of our kitchen.

All because I thought my life is over. 

I lost my job and I also felt I lost the capability of being able to make pastries due to my surgery on my right shoulder. My mind wanders to hopelessness. My career has been my pride and a large part of who I am. Without it, I did not know who I am, what I have achieved and though I failed in life.

But the Lord has been gracious. Overwhelmingly so that He allowed me to grieved what I have lost.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

It was a hard promise to cling on to. How can he be good when all the bad things are happening to me? How can He be good when I lost everything that I have worked hard for the past decade?

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? " Matthew 16:24-26

My idol had been my career, my professional standing, and myself. It took more occupation than what should have been God. But I thought my work was a way of following what God wants for my life. How do you recover from a job when you're in your mid thirties? What am I suppose to do now that my job is gone?

I am not without a purpose. God's ways are higher than mine. 

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. " Philippians 1:20-24

God has been gracious to me and my family that He has never forsaken us in our daily needs. It's been a year since I have no work, but the Lord has been providing for us and to the point that we can support others as well.

God has also been gracious to me that when the pandemic hit, it woke me up to the point that I have to take action. I have to work because I have to make sure that people who are under my care will survive. It's not just about me anymore, but others. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9

God had a purpose why he allowed me to go through that phase. I could not see further than what was within my sight but God knew what He wanted me to do. To live is Christ and to die is gain. To look forward ahead. My desire was to depart but it is more necessary for me to remain. 

He knew this pandemic is coming, and He knew that we still have a job to do during the pandemic. I woke up from my self pity mode. Time is the essence and the Gospel is more urgent.  God allowed me to go through it because knowing what it's like to suffer and trusting in God's grace is helping me more to put my faith that everything else will fall into place. God is still in control.

My husband wrote this post and I could not be more eloquent in describing what happened. He wrote:

My wife turned 36 today.

Thank you so much for all those who greeted, gave gifts, visited (with safety precautions), sang to her and played the guessing game of the cake reveal.

The pandemic affected us as well. There's a backstory though.

Last year, my wife was hospitalized twice, lost her job, went into a state of depression and denial, went into a soul searching mode, tried a new 'job', concentrated on her store, joined me in my adventures as we pursued church planting and mission work.

It was a tough year. Little did we know that the Lord was preparing her for the pandemic. Everything that happened last year was but a state of preparation. No one likes taking an exam, a surprise quiz, an instant recitation. But that was her year which she actually at one point said "when will all of these end?"

She was in tears.

It was also a moment where everything seems strip away and then her heart is revealed when it comes to Lordship.

She struggled until she came to understand.

Lordship is easy to talk about when you're teaching it, or listening to a preaching. It's another thing when you're undergoing something.

Then the pandemic struck. It was hard to be Christlike. She had to close her store as her landlady didn't even give her a reprieve. She kept on sending food to her staff, to pastors, as well as trying to keep the business afloat. She was paying her employees even if they weren't working (i'm not humble bragging but I'm simply pointing out the difficulty in being Christlike. It's gonna be costly.)

If you think she's a great model, let me stop you right there. She's not perfect. The model should be Jesus. She uses her life (and food) to point people to Christ.

So for her birthday, we chose to celebrate with some friends and family. In spite of this pandemic, we choose to set our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2).

Life has no meaning if we don't understand that the pain and struggle are part of the Lord shaping us. After all, He is the founder and perfector of our faith.

So yes, the Lord has prepared her for such a time like what we have now, and as we go further, we would like to encourage all of you to fix your eyes on Jesus.

The work is not done yet. We are doing some things to help others out (here I can say, pm is the key). But more importantly, as we grow in grace, may we always keep our sights on eternity.

Happy birthday, Chef Bernice.

I love you. But Jesus loves you more than I do.

I did not realize until we celebrated this year how far along God has brought me. I understood that the pain was not for me to resent God but to draw closer and to learn to rely on Him and know that everything that had happened have a purpose.  When I share stories of suffering in DYFR, I understood the need of people who needs to hear encouragement that there is hope. When people share with me stories of what they are worried about and their anxieties during the pandemic, I know their worries and their pain. God has a way of preparing me to be able to continue for the sake of Christ.

I'm still in pain, there are days when it is hard for me to get up because of it, and I wish that the Lord will take it away from me. But the work continues. And I look forward to the day that there will be no more pain, no more tears. To be with Christ is the end goal. Deny myself, pick up my cross and follow him. I had to die to myself so that I will gain Christ. 

I am overwhelmed by His grace. Thank you Lord for saving me and keeping me under your wings. And I am reminded of His love. Even in suffering, there is nothing that can compare to it.

Lies Women Believe Part 3: How to Deal With The Lies?

(Eve's links: Women's Role in Society. CWLC Women' Conference Ormoc, 7 March 2020)

How we should respond when faced with these lies?

"The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 

If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished on the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed. Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. "

1 Timothy 4:1-12

Paul was clearly stating to Timothy that the Spirit clearly says that in later times, some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. These false teachings are not just pertaining to the false preachers, but rather it also includes the teachings outside the church. What social media teaches, what society teaches that women have to be strong, independent women and what they believe that is acceptable. Like It’s my body, it’s my own right! I have the right to decide for my body. These teachings will come from hypocritical liars. It’s not just about what we eat, or the laws. It is how we live our lives in accordance to what the Scripture teaches. And we should know the truth! Everything God created is good! 

1. Immerse yourself in Scriptures

"If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished on the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed."

We can go back to the lies and look back at the scriptures. Joshua reminded the Israelites, 

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.Joshua 1:8

We need to live our lives immersed in the Scriptures. Our identity is in Christ! The core of our lives should be the Word of God. 

So when we look back on all these lies, we can always compare it to the Scriptures.

Lies About God: God is not Real

When you feel that God is not real, look at Job, He cried out despite his suffering knowing that He will see God.

I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth.

And after my skin has been destroyed,
    yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him
    with my own eyes—I, and not another.
    How my heart yearns within me!
 Job 19:25-26

And even the unbeliever knew God. King Nebuchadnezzar raised his eyes towards heavens and praised the God most high, honored and glorified him who lives forever. (Daniel 4:34)

The creation even declares of God's hand in making them. (Psalm 19:1, Job 12:7-10, Psalm 104:24-25). There are so many verses in the Bible that speaks of the Creator and the creation. God reveals Himself to us through what He has created that begets us to ask, "Who would have thought of creating such wonderful things?"

How about God is not good?  But everything God created was good, how can someone who is not good create something that is not good? We can go back to Genesis in creation. 

Lies About God: God does not love me. (Di ako love ni Lord). 

I hear this a lot from our youth, "Ang daya ni Lord, di niya ako love." (God is unfair, he does not love me) God does not love me because he placed me in this situation. We go back to the Scriptures, in John 3:16 a very well loved verse, it says: For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, so whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. What love is that He who gave up his life for us?

And in 1 John 4:8, it states, "Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love!". We can even talk of Romans 8:38-39, Paul wrote:

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

There are so many verses that talks of God's love for us. To the point we would think, is God's love so crazy can I believe that it is real? Yes! God loves us so so much that instead of us paying for the penalty of sin, Christ came to pay for the price so that we might have a relationship with our Creator.

Lies About God: God is not a good Father. God is a vengeful/cruel God. God should fix my problems because I believe in Him.

1 Timothy 4:4 states that "Everything God created is good."If we believe that God is not good, How can a Creator who is not good create something good? It does not make any sense. And we can look at Luke11:11-13, What father would give a snake to a son who ask for a fish, or a scorpion when he asks for an egg. God is a good good father that he provides for our needs and knows it even before we ask him. We have to remember that God called us to be his children. The problem is that most of us expect things from our Father never realizing that we never have that Father-child relationship with him.

When Jesus taught his disciples to pray, Jesus was teaching how to ask from the Father. Give us this day for our daily bread and lead us not into temptations. God's design was not for him to be our personal genie but to be reliant on him. Is he going to be our problem solver? We call him Holy and pray for His will be done on earth. It does not mean that He will solve our problems but His will should always prevail. We live in a fallen world that our perception of who God is is so distorted that we expect much of Him where as we should learn to submit to His will. That is the truth. Our perception is not real but God's truth is the truth. 

God is not vengeful and cruel, he is just. He is a holy God who does not permit sin. When we assume that God is so cruel that he punishes everyone, we have to pause and think as to why? The prophet Isaiah realized upon facing a holy God said, "I am a man of unclean lips!" We are sinners, each and every one of us. That when we face a Holy God, we should die. But God is just that He sent His Son to pay for the price of sin.

Our view of God being so unjust stems from our situations, what's happening in the world, why are there so much suffering and so on. We always have to go back to the original design. We were created for God's purpose, for His glory and Him alone. When man veered away from that purpose (Adam and Eve committing sin) it affected everyone down the lie. To say we live in a world that far from the design of God. A fallen world. Sufferings, crisis, unjust governments or societies, these are just some consequences we experiences because it is a sinful world. 

Lies about Sin

"No one is going to get hurt, no one is going to know."  

"This is my truth, this is what I believe in."  

"I was born this way, no one can change me."

We go through our lives thinking that "Oh, it's our human nature to sin", or "I'm not a sinner, I'm actually good. There are worst sinners than me." Scripture teaches us that we are all sinners.

Our sins are not a small matter to God. Rather our sins impact our relationship with HIm. The wages of sin is death. It's not going to be that "No one is going to get hurt or no one is going to know." God knows. When we commit sin, we're hurting ourselves, the people who are involved and also hurting our relationship with God. 

A lady politician once said, "Perception is real, but truth is not." There is something absolutely wrong in that statement. Truth is reality and truths should have foundation. Our perception is faulty because our moral standards are corrupt. (Matthew 15:11-20; Mark 7) Our truths should not be based on our moral standards of what we believe is true. The standard is God's law. Jesus Christ came here on earth and lived that moral standard. Our lives should be modeled after him. Is it possible? Paul instructed the congregation to "Imitate me as I mimitate Christ." Our morals and truths have foundation and the example has been set. 

In the end, we will all face judgement. Whether you think you commit sin or not. What will matter is whether you have placed your faith, cling on to the promised grace given ny God. Our righteouness will not come out of our own works but will only come through the work of Jesus Christ. 

(LIES ABOUT OURSELVES, LIES ABOUT OUR LIVES, LIVES ABOUT MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER BLOG.)

2. Work towards Godliness.

Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. 

What do we call ourselves, Christians? Are we showing Christlikeness towards one another? "Christian ka ba? Eh napaka tsimosa mo. Christian ka? Eh ang toxic toxic mo. Ay yan nanaman reklamo galore. Tama ako, dapat ako masundan." Women do we even follow submission to our husbands? Are we allowing them to lead? How about submitting to the church? Do we bicker, complain, “Eh kasi hindi pumayag si Pastor so sayo ako pumunta” and fight among other women? Do we show godliness and Christ-like love towards our children, our community? How do we show the society who we represent? Paul was saying to Timothy, "This is a trust worthy saying that deserves full acceptance!"

Are we willing to be corrected? To be accountable? Or do we go on living the life where you are the leading lady in the whole world (ako ang bida ng buong mundo). We need to put godliness because it has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Our problem is that we put on the belief that when we are Christians, we are always right or better than others. Godliness does not equal to haughtiness. When we follow Christ, our desire should be to deny ourselves than putting on a show of being a "good Christian". We cannot act piety but jabber on incessantly with complains (walang tigil ang bunganga). Where is the Christ-likeness in that? Paul even had to instruct the church in Corinth because women have been constantly bickering with one another. Be silent! Do things in humility. This statement was not written to degrade women but to remind who they are and should be in Christ. Find wisdom in Proverbs 31:30, 

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain. But a woman who FEARS THE LORD is worthy to be praised." 

3. Put your hope in God. 

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

Do you struggle? Put your hope in God. Keep your eyes on Jesus. I’ve struggled with this mostly especially when one problems comes on top of one another. My husband keeps on reminding me, pray, tell it to God. Hope in him. There is always Hope. I will not be here today if it was not for the hope in Christ. He is the living God. We cannot rely on ourselves to battle these lies. 

When the lies get into my head, I have to struggle with it. Doubts arise and hope seems so far away. We struggle with the uncertainty in life. All the "what ifs" and "maybes" intensifies. We over think, over analyze, we dwell on possibilities and endless worries. We need to work through this life knowing that in the end we shall see God. The book of Psalms reminds us of a Father who we should rely on. Our Help, our Fortress, our Refuge. If we cannot put our hooe in God, where else can we put it that will not fail?

And finally

4. Command, teach and set an example.

Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity especially of those who believe.

When I was invited to speak here, I asked Ate Ai-Ai, who are the women coming to the event? What age group do we have? Only to find out that majority would be older than me. I am 35 years old! What do I know compared to the women who had more years that I do?  

But this I believe, I am here under God and also under my husband’s authority to teach. To command, teach and set an example. Whatever life that I live I have to remind myself that I have to live what I teach. Be an example to others. My life is not my own. 

I am a Pastry Chef, and have worked in different parts of the world. Middle East, Caribbean, The United States. And here in the Philippines. I command a very good salary. But I knew God called me to be a Pastor’s wife. Upon marrying Gab, it was fine, my salary helps support the ministry and helps pay whatever needs we have. But God saw it fit to remove me from my career. 15 years of working in the industry gone in an instant. I struggled. What do I tell my family? That I am a failure? All those hard work in 15 years. Lies started to come in. I refuse to seek counsel with the Lord. I refuse to speak with Him. I know He has plans but I was not ready to listen. Was I angry with him? Yes! My reality was not what I have planned. There are days when I would cry and hide from the world. There are days when I don’t want to continue. My problems kept on piling up, how do we pay for the house the bills,the ministry? My husband don’t get salary and I don’t have one either. I know that He is there, I have seen how he provided for me and my husband but the lies keep on coming. The solution I have in my head was to kill myself and get over it. It's easier. One less thing to worry about.

But there’s one thing I am forgetting and I am being reminded of it constantly. 

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law, he meditates day and night. Psalm 1:2

Remember what I have said about what delight means? To have extreme Satisfaction. My problems is looking into all my problems and my dissatisfaction in this world. Our delight should be in the law of the Lord. What are those laws? You shall love the Lord your God with all your mind, soul and strength. And we should love our neighbors as ourselves.

The lies we believe today that erode our dependence on God and discredit our belief in the good news of his Son Jesus are not blatant. They are subtle. They make promises. They seem plausible. In Colossians 2: 4, the apostle Paul warns Christians this way: “I am saying this so that no one will deceive you with arguments that sound reasonable” (Wilson, Jared C., The Gospel According to Satan. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition)

The problem with the lies we’re told is that we forget to find satisfaction in the one true God. Eve started entertaining those doubts forgetting we have a Creator who made us in His image. Our heart issues begin with these lies is because we do not find extreme satisfaction towards loving God. King David was remind us in that Psalm that we are blessed when we find extreme satisfaction in God.

Delight in the Lord, find extreme satisfaction in loving Him. And may we, women be the ones to lead other and set example to the role God has originally designed for society.

Lies Women Believe Part 1: How Do Lies Work?

Lies Women Believe Part 2: What Are The Lies We Believe?

Sources:

Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Lies Women Believe/Lies Women Believe Study Guide- 2 book set. Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition. 

Wilson, Jared C.. The Gospel According to Satan. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Lies Women Believe Part 2: What are the Lies We Believe?

(Eve's links: Women's Role in Society. CWLC Women' Conference Ormoc, 7 March 2020)

What are the lies we often believe?

These are just but a few statements that we can look at. There are so many lies that are being taught as truths. What we can do is to recognize which lies that we actually believe in.

Lies about God:

God is not real.

God is really not good (If God is good, why do these things happen to me.

God does not love me (di ako love ni Lord).

God is just like my father, God is cruel and a vengeful God.

If God is God, he should fix my problems / I should not have probelms because I believe in God.

Lies about Sin

No one is going to get hurt, no one is going to know.  

This is my truth, this is what I believe in.  

I was born this way, no one can change me.

Lies about ourselves

I am not worthy. I deserve this.

I have my rights. I am right.

I need to love myself more. Self care.

I deserve to be happy. Happiness is the key.

Lies about our lives

You only live once!

Seize the day! Carpe Diem!

Eat! Drink! Be Merry! For tomorrow we dies!

I need to do everything / achieve everything in my life.

Lies about Marriage / Relationships

And they lived happily ever after

You are my everything

My life is complete with you / I like me better when I am with you

I don’t feel like I love you anymore.

A lot of these statements are obviously outward lies. But people believe them. And some statements I wrote down here seems to sound like it's not a lie, it actually sounds right. Why would I call it a lie?

The problem is that we can't identify what is a lie and what is the truth if we do not have the foundation of the scriptures. For example, one of the most famous advice friends would give one another. "Go for it! Follow your heart!". But the Bible states that the heart is wicked! Genesis 6:5 says: "The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time." What makes "Follow your heart" become a good truthful advice?

"Now the best way to deliver poor souls from being deluded and destroyed by these messengers of Satan is, to discover them in their colours, that so, being known, poor souls may shun them, and fly from them as from hell itself."                  -  Thomas Brooks

Satan aims for us to believe all these lies by making them sound so good. We can start by looking at it and seeing it for what it is. The lie that will lead us away from God. 

Lies Women Believe Part 1: How Do Lies Work

Lies Women Believe Part 3: How to Deal with The Lies

Sources:

Thomas Brooks, Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices (Edinburgh, UK: Banner of Truth, 1997), 230.

Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Lies Women Believe/Lies Women Believe Study Guide- 2 book set. Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition. 

Wilson, Jared C.. The Gospel According to Satan. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Lies Women Believe Part 1: How Do Lies Work?

(Eve's links: Women's Role in Society. CWLC Women' Conference Ormoc, 7 March 2020)

In the beginning, God.

God created the heaven and the earth.

Everything He created was good.

God also created man. Both Adam and Eve. 

He created them in His own image. Male and female He created them.

Then came the serpent. The Bible said that the serpent is more cunning. 

If we go back to the moment of creation, God created everything good. The earth, the sky, the animals and even humans. But what came after was the serpent, in a form where he offered an alternative fact that we took in as a lie. He started asking Eve “Did God actually say that…?” Before there was death, there was the lie. But before the lie, there was the Liar. (Wilson, Jared C.. The Gospel According to Satan. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.)

Who was this serpent that the bible was talking about?  Satan the deceiver. He is the Father of lies, 

You belong to your father, the devil and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

Satan himself also masquerades as an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14)

Satan also is a Schemer.

Put on the whole armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. (Ephesians 6:11)

He came to Eve not with debates on who God is or preparing arguments, rather he came to put doubts on Eve. He started with the lie “Did God actually say…” Then slowly, he added, “ Surely you will not die, your eyes will be opened, you will be like God.” Forgetting that God created her in the image of him.

Thomas Brooke a pastor once said, "Satan promises the best, but pays with the worst; he promises honor, and pays with disgrace; he promises pleasure, and pays with pain; he promises profit, and pays with loss; he promises life, and pays with death."

When we look at the passage, Eve saw, that the fruit was a delight to the eyes and to be desire to make one wise. Delight it meant to have extreme satisfaction, and to desire is to long for. When we come to think about it, what's wrong with the picture? 

God created everything good. They have the whole garden for themselves, food to eat, everything was provided but 

They saw their nakedness, they did not see what God created was good, their eyes were opened

How do lies work? 

Taking this from Nancy Wolgemuth, she’s the author of Lies Women Believe, she said that There is a progression of the lie that leads us to spiritual bondage. That spiritual bondage is what will keep us from fulfilling the role that we're suppose to truly be.

1. First we listen to the lie. 

We start by entertaining the doubt in our thoughts. Well, there’s no harm in listening to it. Is listening wrong? Absolutely not. But listening to something that is misleading from God's word is dangerous. This is why we need to be vigilant and filled with the knowledge of God's word. Discernment is necessary. 

"Listening to things that are not true is the first step toward spiritual bondage." - Nancy Wolgemuth

Listening to counsel or ways of thinking that are not according to the Truth is the first step in developing wrong beliefs that will ultimately place us in spiritual bondage. In a world that is full of half-truths and little lies, we expose ourselves to it, listening. Warnings from the Bible tells us of false teachings, but it also reminds us to keep God's word. Psalm 119:11 says, 

"I have hidden Your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against You." 

2. Then we dwell on the lie. 

We women like to analyze, to over think, then we start with, “Well, why not? He could be right?”

The lie takes hold when we dwell on it. We open ourselves up thinking about it, start asking questions. "What if..." "That does not sound so bad, right?" Mulling over it continuously that we are convincing ourselves otherwise to the point that lines are blurred.

3. After we believe the lie. 

We start including it in our lives, we start by accepting it and making it into our core beliefs. 

I was watching an episode where a woman was selling a mirror that if you look at it, you look skinny and the idea was, "If you look good, you feel good. Because you look skinny in the mirror, you start to believe it and allow yourself to think, yes, I look good therefore I will feel good. But that deception only comes when you look into the skinny mirror. What happens if you look in a regular mirror? 

4. Finally we act on the lie.

"Belief produces behavior. Believing things that are not true produces sinful behavior." 

- Nancy Wolgemuth

We allow the sin to take hold of us that we start to believe it is our truth and we act upon it. And once we act upon it, it becomes easier and easier to continue acting on it because it becomes our nature. I remember having training with Stephen Covey's 7 Highly Effective Habits of a Leader where as our leaders will set a goal for us to do things everyday until it  becomes into habits. The same way it is with sin. We act on it to the point that it becomes so easy for us that it becomes a habit, and later on we're so used to it that it will be hard to remove it from our system. 

Now knowing the progression on the lie helps us identify the lies and how we can stop from falling into it. 

Lies Women Believe Part 2: What Are The Lies We Believe

Lies Women Believe Part 3: How To Deal With The Lies

Sources:

Wolgemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Lies Women Believe/Lies Women Believe Study Guide- 2 book set. Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition. 

Wilson, Jared C.. The Gospel According to Satan. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

A Promise of Restoration

Jeremiah 30
Michael Ende Watch

It has been a painful road reading the Book of Jeremiah. Often it would be about how Israel would suffer and how it reflects on my life, suffering. Sometimes it leads me to ask, do bad things happen to me because I am disobedient to the Lord?

So I would skip days, and in days of despair, my husband would point me back towards the Psalms. Faith in God would be restored but short-lived whenever I go back to Jeremiah.

But today's different. As I go through Jeremiah 30, it reminded me of who God is.




I found this watch amongst the things my mother left me after my father passed away. I'm not sure how it came to my family, but I am always fascinated by it. Although it does not work anymore (not sure how I will replace the battery in fear of ruining it), it was a reminder how real God is. This is a commemorative watch designed by Michael Ende (Jewish Silversmith) for the 40th Anniversary of Israel (Declaration of Independence) as a nation. Inscribed on the watch was Genesis 28:13 in Hebrew "So said the Lord: The land you are resting upon, I will give to you and to your descendants."

What made this watch so significant for me is that it was a reminder of a promise that the Lord had fulfilled. Reading Joshua was a record of Israel claiming the land the Lord has given them. Jeremiah shows of the nation being exiled to other nations. Yet the Lord gave them hope. Jeremiah 30:3 said,

"'The days are coming', declares the Lord, 'When I will bring my people Israel and Judah back from captivity and restore them to the land I gave their forefathers to possess.' says the Lord."

It speaks to me of a God who faithful in fulfilling his promises to his people. I am always in awe and wonderful whenever I see this piece. This is a part of history, a proof of God fulfilling his promise to his people.

Has the promise been fulfilled? Yes, but there is still more to come. A time where Israel will have peace.

Which led me to ask, "How are we so much like Israel?"

I struggle with this a lot. At days when I forget that I serve a God who wants me to live a holy life. I am sure that every commandment he has given, I have broken. My anger leads me to forget His grace and mercy. My anxiety leads me to forget that he is a God who provides. My indifference leads me to forget that God is ever present. My hate leads me to forget that God is love. Yet the Lord tells his people,

"The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: 

'I have loved you with an everlasting love; 

I have drawn you with lovingkindness.'" 

Jeremiah 31:3. 

Despite Israel's disobedience, God loved them with an everlasting love. The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the God whom we serve is faithful in His promises, loving to his people. What an amazing God we have? I sit in utmost wonder.

Depression, Anxieties and The Lies

Recent events in my life has caused me depression and anxiety.After my surgery, I stayed home for a month and there are days when I would be alone in my room crying and even refusing to see anyone or talk to anyone. Even refused to receiving comfort from my own family, my husband and friends.  

The Depression

You see, I thought I was a failure. At 35, I was expecting that things are going well but it seems that I would lose all of it in a span of a week. I did not know how to face my family because I was ashamed that I did not fulfil their expectations of success. And to see another day come frightens me to the point that I did not want to last for another night. Nightmares come that reminds me of it. 

My husband has been urging me to spend time with the Lord during my time of solitude. I didn’t want to. My heart was crying out, “My life is in shambles, I’m angry with God, I don’t want to talk to him.” 

And I refused to talk to the Lord. I justified my anger with the Lord and talking to him hurts even more. In my mind, I know that things happen for a reason but refuse to accept that the Lord have new plans for me. I know that He is sovereign but I was afraid to ask the question why He allowed it. Because deep down, I think I knew the answer. I have made my work and career my idol.

The Anxiety

Losing work meant losing income. Back then, I was not too afraid of resigning from jobs because I always have one next in line. Everything was planned. And I kept on moving on. But this time, it was unexpected and I did not have a back-up plan. In Chinese culture, no work means no money. No money means no future. Your success meant that your income is big. And your parents cannot brag about you and your profession because there's nothing to brag about.

I thought I was doing well in terms that I am a bread winner. Having a steady income meant being able to pay the bills, the house and whatever needs necessary. My husband resigned from a paying pastoral job to open a church plant. We were not worried about him earning because I knew my income can support him. 

But losing that income meant having no means to survive. Plus my injury prevents me to going back to my line of work. Menial tasks such as combing my hair is a chore and tiresome. My anxiety of how we’re going to be able to pay our bills makes me lose sleep. If we can’t pay our bills, how are we suppose to survive?

The Lies

I came to believe that there’s nothing to look forward to after resigning from work. Fifteen years of your life down the drain. The thought of working for the same industry makes me recoil. Fears haunt me. And the thought of what’s next is terrifying. A change of career? Then the liar tells me these things:  

“Everything that you have worked for is a failure.” 

“You can’t do anything else. Because being a chef is all you know.”  

“God wants you to suffer because you wanted to follow your own way.” 

“Your family will be disappointed in you.”

“You have failed.”

Resentment also comes in. 

"Was it fair? Where's the justice in that?"

"Should I fight?"

"Where is Your vengeance? Shouldn't you punish them for the wrong they have done against me?"

All of those lies goes through my head.

My Soul Refuses to be Comforted.

“I cry aloud to God,

    aloud to God, and he will hear me.

In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;

    in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;

    my soul refuses to be comforted.

When I remember God, I moan;

    when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah” Psalm 77:1-3

One Sunday evening, while I was alone at home, I went back to Psalm 77.  My husband and I have been reading the Psalms together, encouraging me to go back to the Lord.

The Psalmist was saying, “My soul refuses to be comforted.” 

God had you forgotten to be gracious? Have you been angry that you have withdrew your compassion?

Even the writers of Psalm felt despair. But I have to remember what the Lord has done. The psalmist went on to remember the deeds of the Lord.

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord;

    yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work,

    and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy.

    What god is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders;

    you have made known your might among the peoples.

You with your arm redeemed your people,

    the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah“ Psalms 77:11-15

How much of my life has been blessed by the Lord and how much have he shown that He has not forgotten me? The lies the enemy wants me to believe cannot compare to the deeds of the Lord. 

Mourn, Grieve But Do Not Forget the Lord.

I cried, I grieved, I mourned. But I have to go back to the Lord. I spent my evening srying out all the hurt, pain and anger against the Lord yet praising His name. Desperate to hold on to his promises that He is still good, that He is still in control and that He is still God.

My husband kept on telling me that it is okay to mourn what you have loss. Even as I write this reflection, I cannot help but cry a little when I remember the pain. But I remember what I wrote in my despair when it all started:

How do I give praises

When my life is falling apart?

What joy can I find

When sorrows drown me out?

Losing battles left and right

The enemies are closing in the night

I can’t breathe.

The pain and misery

I cannot bear

To lose it all

‘till there’s nothing left

To follow you Jesus

comes with a cost

And I can’t breathe

But I have to sing.

I sing praises to Your name

O Lord, Most High.

To declare Your love in the Morning

And Your faithfulness by night

The Work of Your Hands

I will sing for joy

You made me glad

You made me glad

The Psalmist knew what it is like to be in despair. I am not alone in my depression. But despite that, I have to trust in the Lord that these are the works of His hands. My future is still unknown for me, but I am holding on to the promise that I am loved by God.

Lessons of Despair, Treasures of Joy.

On days that I become anxious, I will remember the Lord. When we were worried about our finances, I was reminded that it is the Lord who provides. My husband continued to encourage me to pray for our daily provisions. “We just have to be faithful in doing the work for the Lord.” The Lord answered our needs when He provided a check enough to pay for the bills, the house and for our mission trip to Ormoc. I am constantly reminded that it is the Lord who provided. Not me, not my work but it is the Lord. 

On days when I felt sadness is closing in, I remember that the Lord has given me joy just being able to be in His presences without rushing out the door. I found more time to read and study the Bible, read books that I have been longing to read, to have more time to rest and recover from my injury. I remember my half-cousin telling me this a few months ago, "Put God first." I have not been putting the Lord first in my everyday life. Always rushing to be out and about, but rarely have the time to spend it with the God who is the one who wakes me up everyday,

Through the course of not knowing what’s next, I realize that I am now free to pursue new adventures. Maybe go back to studying or pursue a new career. It is scary, I am hesitant yet I know the Lord will lead me somewhere. Plans are coming and going around my head it gets exciting yet terrifying. I remember the advice I tell my kids whenever they had a hard time letting go.  “Be excited for what the Lord plans for you next.” I should listen to my own words.  Be excited. Be joyful and thankful that one chapter has ended and a new one is on the way and rest on the promise that I will not be forsaken.

Sometimes, I will mourn, but I know the joy will come in the morning. 

"For his anger is but for a moment,

    and his favor is for a lifetime.

Weeping may tarry for the night,

   but joy comes with the morning."  Psalm 30:5