Living in the United States of America is an eye opener for me. It seems to me that I lived a charmed life back in other countries. I see how vast and big the country is, living alone in this state is almost like living in it's own country. But despite the country's success, I see so many people lost. I see suffering, I see pain, I see how hard it is for some just to live day to day. People working two jobs to meet ends meet, to support the family, to have enough income to pay for mortgage and taxes. The most heart wrenching part is seeing those homeless people. The outcast of society.
I often wonder what happened to them to be homeless. Somehow they see that they could not fit in to the demands of the society. They live on the streets, wandering from one place to another, building small tents for the night and moving on the next day. I saw one old lady with her feet heavily blistered from walking and pushing her cart. Another making their shelter on a bus stop just to survive the cold night. Did they chose to live this life or did they lose everything and could not get back up? Were they addicted to drugs? They are the outcast, vagabonds, odd people living the street life and sometimes might even be crazy.
While on my way home from the grocery, I was at the bus stop by Mindanao Way & Lincoln, I saw a man digging through the trash. I guessed he was looking for something to eat seeing that McDonald's was just a few feet away. I looked back checking whether to see if the bus was coming while debating if I should offer him something to eat or just ignore him. My heart got the better of me, so I approached the man and ask him, "Would you like to have something to eat?"
He was thin, wearing a dirty brown sweater and jeans. His beard was long and bushy, his skin looked sunburned and his nails were long and dirty. I can smell smoke and grease on him like he's been living under cars. The stench overwhelmed me, but I decided to ignore it. I think he was surprised that a girl like me would talk to him even more offer him something to eat. He nodded so I gestured for him to come along with me to McDonald's. While waiting in line, I asked him what he wanted to eat, he simply told me anything I would like to get him. So I bought him a double cheeseburger meal with large fries and soda (probably not the healthiest food). After paying for it, he wasn't sure where to go, so I was guessing that he was going to step outside and wait for me. But I gestured for him to sit down and wait for the food. I also went to the gas station store and bought him a gallon of water and some fruits to take with him.
When I handed him the fruits, he started eating the banana and then the apple. When his meal came, he grabbed a handful of fries and put it in his mouth. I can imagine the warm fries making his body feel warm because he smiled and his eyes lit up. The man knows how to appreciate food!
I didn't know how to talk to him afterwards. How do I share the gospel with this man? I just sat there watching him eat. Where do I start? How will I begin? I started praying silently and asking God for the words, until I just finally said, "God loves you. You know that God loves you?"
He looked at me and I had a feeling he didn't understand a word I said. So I said again, "God loves you. This food is a gift from Him." He smiled and looked up and raised his burger and said, "Thank you God!"
Now I don't know how I should go on with that. But I decided to ask him, "Do you know about Jesus Christ?"
He answered, "Jesus? I know Jesus, I've met him!"
I guess being on the street he someone would try to share with him too. Clearly I really didn't know what to do, I was having a hard time to find the words though it came to my mind to recite John 3:16 to him. I decided to ask him, "Would you like for me to pray for you?" And he agreed.
I took his hand and he was surprised. I bowed my head and I prayed for him. I don't know what he's thinking while I was praying but I was hoping that God will open his heart. After praying for him, I opened my eyes and he was looking at me. So I said to him, "Jesus Christ can save you. He is the only one who can save you. Not from this world, (I think I mean to say to him He can save you from this world but I mucked it up) but He can save your soul." That didn't go right.
Finally I couldn't stand it, the smell is over powering and my head started pounding. I felt that I wanted to vomit. I got up and asked him if he needs to go. We walked outside and he stopped by the gas station store and was trying to pull out some coins from his pocket. I asked him if there's anything else he needs and he said he was looking to see if he can buy a cheap cigar. I shook my head and told him that's going to be bad for him. I said my goodbyes and left. I feel dismayed and discouraged. Probably I messed it up big time and might not even be planting seeds.
How do we share the with these people? Walking home I went over it again and again trying to figure out what I could've done to share God's word. I felt bile rising and my head spinning trying not to vomit. Was my motive aligned with God's plan? I want to share and bring people to Christ, but I can't even share with this man.
God loves all his people, whether those who are in the society and those who are outcast. God wants his people to be saved. He left witnesses to share the good news, to share His love.
One thing I realized is I didn't fully trust God to show me what to do. My mind was busy with bible verses, trying to ignore the smell and thinking of what to say. Though God's word came to my mind, I didn't proclaim it. I was scared and worried what he might think of me rather than stating the plain truth.
I am praying that someone will cross paths with him and will share God's word with him. I pray that next time I have that opportunity to share, I will not be afraid to proclaim His word. That I will keep my mind set to serve God and not think about anything else.
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