I scrambled to get my bible before the questions overcome me. Not wanting to be angry, nor to resent my grandmother. I didn't know what to look for but I wanted to be reminded of God's love. I knew my favorite verse was in Romans so I turned to that book. But I started to read a a different chapter. I started with Romans 5 and it says:
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us." (NIV)
Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And I continued on reading:
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rare will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrate his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
I kept on reading this over and over again, finding comfort in God's love, wanting the pain to wash away. That Christ loves me and had died for me even when I was a sinner. I remember Auntie Eunice's preaching last Sunday about how the devil seeks to devour his prey and we have to resist him through prayer and hold on to God's promises. I kept on holding on to that promise.
When hurtful words are said, sometimes it's more painful than physical pain. The saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." is a thinking we often use to set our mind frames not to be hurt by words. I remember I would often say that when I was a kid, when my classmates would call me names, and trying not to get hurt by repeating that in my mind over and over again only to find it useless. Words can hurt. Our words can cause fire as we speak. Our tongues can be deceitful. As it is written in James 3:5-8
"Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."
Words can cause fires. Can cause emotional pain and suffering. Even if our intentions are good, our untamed tongue can corrupt it. It turns into nagging, yelling, screaming, hurtful criticism, complains, tactless remarks, the list goes on. I know I always take criticism badly because I am a very emotional person. I take things to heart. But hurtful words can destroy people, relationships, friendships, families...
I am praying, that the Lord would tame my tongue. I know I have said a lot of hurtful words too. And I don't want to live a life where in I would cause destruction. I want to be a woman where God would use my tongue to say loving words, to build each person up rather than tearing them down, to use my mouth to praise God and worship him, not of cursing. And in the events of hearing hurtful words I pray God will remind me of His promises, of His love. Our worth is secure because we are His. There is hope in Him, and his love for us is poured out to us through the Holy Spirit. So I turned to one of my favorite verses, Romans 8:38-39, it says:
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
When words hurt us the most, remember, hold on to the promises of God. Hold on to His love. Because nothing, not one single thing, can separate us from the love of God.
"Who Am I"
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours, I am Yours.
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours.
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours, I am Yours, I am Yours.
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours, I am Yours.
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