Monday, August 22, 2016

Even Unto Death

Life can suddenly change in a moment, in a second, even in just a heart beat...

From the moment I was born, God has been forming my life in ways I could never imagine.  The first breath, the first sound, the first moment I opened my eyes.  And thirty-two years later, life is constantly changing, and moving.  I have traveled to different parts of the world, meet people from different cultures, fell in love, experience wrenching heartbreaks, had financial difficulty, hardships, suffering from rejections and even the loss of a loved one. But through out those thirty-two years, the only constant that I am sure that I have is Jesus Christ.

Don't get me wrong though, I am far from being holy, or a goodie-two shoe.  Knowing myself, I am one of the most wicked and sinful creature in this world.  I am a hypocrite, I am like those pharisees.  I am I have done things that if people would know each and every single detail of my life, that if each sin is represented with a black patch, I would be covered with it and people would not want to be associated with me.

But I am so loved...  Undeservingly. I am loved beyond who I am.  Me.  A wretched wicked miserable soul, loved to the point of Someone giving up His life, dying for me.  He knew that I need Him.

I thought I was a hopeless case.  I have run away from God for years.  But what evil I have done, God used it for good.  When I was in Cayman, I went back to God and I thought I have a good life.  Things were going well, but my relationship was a mess.  Suddenly, life changed. An offered to move to California came up and surprisingly, everything worked out for me to move there (At that time i thought moving to California was next to IMPOSSIBLE).  Then things happened that I had to give up things that I love.  I was brought down to my knees and came to the point of asking myself, "Is there a God?"

But God had not abandoned me.  I learned to live a life where in I have to rely on Him for everything.  I have to rely on Him to give me joy when I am working.  I had to rely on Him to provide just enough to get through the month, and even have a bit of extra.  He brought me to a church who loved me like I am part of the family.

Just when I thought God was done with me, God took me out of California and brought me home, I have been praying for a life where in I can serve Him.  He planned a perfect timing of being able to spend time with my father before he passed away.  He provided me a job which enabled me to fly back and forth to Manila to be with Papa.  He placed me in a church which at first I though I wanted to leave because the people are so cold, but now I felt that they are my family.  I never thought He would place me in a position that He is using me to minister to others.  To use my experience to help my kids.  He gave me the heart to love these kids even if they're not my own flesh and blood.  And Lord knows, I am so unworthy of this task.

As I write this, I kept on playing the song Even Unto Death by Audrey Assad.  At this moment of my life, in celebrating my 32nd birthday, what should I do with the life I was given?  The lyrics goes like this:



Jesus
The very thought of You
It fills my heart with love
Jesus
You burn like wildfire
And I am overcome


Lover of my soul
Even unto death
With my every breath I will love You
Lover of my soul
Even unto death
With my every breath I will love You


Jesus
You are my only hope
And You, my prize shall be
Jesus
You are my glory now
And in eternity


Lover of my soul
Even unto death
With my every breath I will love You
You're the Lover of my soul
Even unto death
With my every breath I will love You


In my darkest hour
In humiliation
I will wait for You
I am not forsaken
Oh, I lose my life
Oh, my breath be taken
I will wait for You
I am not forsaken

One thing I desire
To see You in Your beauty
You are my delight
Yeah, You are my glory

You my sacrificed
Oh, Your love is all consuming
You are my delight
Yeah, You are my glory
Oh, You are my glory God
Oh, You are my glory

You're the lover of my soul
Even unto death
With my every breath I will love You
You're the lover of my soul
Even unto death
With my every breath I will love You


I will love You
Even unto death, I will love You
With my every breath I will love You
Jesus
The very thought of You
Jesus
The very thought of You





I am so loved...  I am overcomed by His perfect unending love.  I do not deserve His love.  Thirty two years seems such a short time.  I see God working in my life despite my faithlessness, despite all of my faults, despite rejecting the Lord so many time.  He even saw it fit to provide me my heart's deepest desire, someone to spend the rest of my life with.

If asked, "Would I die for the Lord?  Would I die for that man called Jesus Christ?"  Even unto death, I will love the Lord.  All these thirty-two years that He has been calling me to be His, I am so assured that I am loved and that He is my prize.  I cannot wait to see Him and be with Him for all eternity.

How about you?

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